How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
