areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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