Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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