Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
