This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
