In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
