if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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