Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
We have started to decorate penises.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
