it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
