i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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