Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize