He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
