It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
