Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
