Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
