the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize