Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
