I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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