new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
