i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
