you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
