are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
This is my gift to your gina
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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