I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
