He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
