do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
