Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
