is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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