that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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