People with herpes should wear stickers.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
