i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
