I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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