I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
