Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
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i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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