hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
