Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize