Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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