FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
