Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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