This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
