Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
