she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
