Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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