There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
