the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
