I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
