Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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