Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Less talking, more tequila
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
