Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
