Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
