omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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