He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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