this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
