Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Your penis caused this!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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