i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
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I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
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I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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