so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
