I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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