Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
