Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
