Plan B is the new Plan A
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Randomize
