my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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