Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Is it because I queefed?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I need a beard to bite.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
