remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
