I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
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You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
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I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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