I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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