Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize