Rock
Scissors
Fuck
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
